What Disney’s Agatha All Along Has Gotten Right (and Wrong)About Witchcraft – Part Two

We’re back for another installment of this series taking a look at what Agatha All Along has gotten right and wrong about real witchcraft. In today’s adventure, we’re going to over episodes 4, 5, and 6. I’ve got another long list prepared for you, so buckle up and read on, because once again we’re going down, down, down the Witches’ Road.

You know what? The first version of that song was way better than the second.

But I digress.

And also once again, you don’t have to read. You can watch. Because it’s a video.

Prefer to read? No problem. Here we go.

WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD

1. True Witchcraft Takes Time

Lily about to explain that “true witchcraft takes time.”

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After losing a member of the coven, the gang decides to summon a new one. While they’re all impatiently awaiting the results of their spell, Lily offers these words of wisdom: “true witchcraft takes time.”

I couldn’t agree more. A lot of people come into the craft and are discouraged by the amount of work it requires. There are books to read, there are things to study. You can’t just jump in and instantly be a master of everything. It takes time and practice. You gotta be patient.

Verdict: Pass

2. Evil Backwards-Spinning Records

The Ballad of the Witches Road spinning backwards on a record player

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In episode 4, a record starts spinning backwards, loudly playing music that makes everyone cry out in pain.

Backmasking is a recording technique where you embed a reversed message into audio so that it’s only revealed when you play the entire thing backwards. Conspiracy theories about these types of subliminal messages were pretty popular during the 1980s, when Christian groups accused several rock stars of either being possessed by the devil himself or of recording Satanic messages in an attempt to control people’s minds.

As a musician, I personally find this entire topic pretty interesting, but it really doesn’t have anything to do with witchcraft.

Verdict: Fail

3. Drawing circles with a knife

Alice jumping to action with a protective circle

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When the going gets tough, Alice jumps up and starts carving protective circles into the ground with a knife.

The circle is like… the basic ritual container for many forms of witchcraft and serves several functions, including… you guessed it, protection.

In reality, we don’t actually physically carve the circles, we draw them energetically with the athame, but I’ll still give this one a pass.

Verdict: Pass

4. Ending a Curse

Agatha about to explain that “once vengeance is loosed, you can’t reel it back in.”

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Agatha says “once vengeance is loosed you can’t reel it back in” which I do agree with in the sense that … well, you can’t take back your words. As the saying goes, you can’t unring a bell.

The next part of this scene, however, goes on to explain that “the only way to end a curse is to face it” which I disagree with for a variety of reasons. Let’s say that you do manage to successfully curse someone… there are just so many available rituals that focus on unbinding, uncrossing, unhexing, or the general banishment of bad juju that will never a require a person to actually face the curse, in any sense, no less something manifested to full physical form… which brings me to my next point.

But first, fail.

Verdict: Fail

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5. Things Manifesting to Physical Form

Alice’s curse manifest to physical form

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In order to end her family curse, Alice has to face it head on. And it is ugly. It manifests to some sort of hellish flying demon undead sort of thing.

This just doesn’t happen. And the reason I’m commenting on it is because people have asked me in the past how much work they need to do in order to get spirits, angels, or demons to physically manifest in front of them.

Ya don’t.

There are techniques for visualizing entities with your eyes open, which takes a lot of meditation or trance work, but let me be clear… it’s still all in your head! You will never accidentally open some portal to another realm where a terrifying creature physically steps through and then battles you. Sorry. Fail.

Verdict: Fail

6. Chanting in Other Languages

How do I get a copy of this spell book?

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You might have seen this in lots of episodes, but it seemed pertinent to bring up now. There are several times when one member of the gang starts chanting in another language to conduct a spell — like when Jenn makes some healing potions, Teen breaks Agatha out of her trance, or when everyone enchants broomsticks (more on that later).

Yeah, us witches like chanting. Yeah, sometimes we do it in foreign languages. Yeah, sometimes we do it using completely nonsensical words. The power is often in the sounds of the words themselves, not necessarily their meaning.

Easy pass.

Verdict: Pass

7. Do No Harm

Jenn, recounting when harm was done to her… or when she did harm. I can’t remember.

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Angsty Jennifer says… “so much for do no harm.” Obviously not everyone subscribes to this rule, but there is a prevalent belief among many witches that you should do no harm. And in fact, it’s part of the Wiccan rede… “eight words the wiccan reed fulfill, an it harm none, do what ye will” — or some variation of that.

I personally subscribe to a slightly different version… do no harm, unless you reallllly have to, but then do as little harm as is required. This is a pass.

Verdict: Pass

8. Doing Something Just Because It Smells Nice

Jenn explaining that Alice should apply a balm because it smells nice.

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Later in that same scene, Jenn also tells Alice to apply some sort of healing balm she’s created. When Alice asks why, Jenn says “because it smells nice.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve put on an oil or lit an incense for this exact reason. Actually, I just put some on. Because I wanted to. Sometimes that’s all the explanation you need… it smells nice… it’s pleasant… I’m using this ingredient because I like this thing. There’s magic there. It’s simple magic, but it’s magic.

Verdict: Pass

9. Spirit Possession

Agatha possessed by a spirit

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So… first, let me explain that spirit possession is a real thing.

But this? What’s going on here? In this scene, Agatha gets possessed, jumps up to the ceiling, then crawls around on the floor like a weird spider. This is not based in reality. You’re not going to gain some superhuman jumping, climbing, or weird crawling abilities. And your face doesn’t change to look like you’ve suddenly put on some bad Halloween makeup. This is like something out of The Exorcist, minus the projectile vomit.

Verdict: Fail

10. Flying on Broomsticks

Enchanting the broomsticks for riding

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In order to get away from the Salem Seven, the whole gang has to… grab a piece wood, enchant it with a spell, and then fly off into the sky.

This is more like Harry Potter than actual witchcraft. Witches don’t actually fly on broomsticks.

Guys, I’m sorry. I realize a lot of these images I’ve posted show very little detail. Look, it’s not that I take terrible screenshots or anything… it’s just that for some reason, most of the scenes that take place on The Road are ridiculously dark. Even when watching the show on Disney+, some of the shots are just super hard to see.

Verdict: Fail

11. The Thinning of the Veil… at the bloodmoon?

A bloodmoon seen through a window

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At one point in episode 5, Lily states that a bloodmoon is when the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. I’m not sure where the idea for this type of inaccurate lore comes from, but a blood moon is a folk name for a total lunar eclipse where the moons glow appears reddish in color. Energetically speaking, sure, it’s a pretty cool time to do stuff.

In terms of the veil being the thinnest, however, this is commonly understood to happen twice a year — once at Samhain and once at Beltane, which has nothing to do with eclipses or bloodmoons.

Verdict: Fail

12. Mother Maiden Crone, Spirits be Known

All hands on the planchette!

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I’ve got no hate for the ouija board, okay? What I’ve got some hate for is this little incantation that was said at the start of using it to make contact with the spirits. “Mother, Maiden, Crone, Spirits Be Known.”

This is just… lazy writing, taking two statements that sound witchy and happen to rhyme, but are otherwise unrelated. It’d be like if I walked over to do laundry and said “by water air earth and fire, I take these these clothes out of the dryer” I mean, sure, I rhymed. But it is otherwise just pointless.

People, please, I’m begging you… do not hear this rhyme and use it in legitimate attempts at making contact with spirits because you think it’s cool or trendy.

Verdict: Fail

13. Different Religious Backgrounds

Teen participating in beautiful ceremonies

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I don’t think that the writers for Agatha All Along were trying to make this point, but something interesting I noticed was that Teen (or Billy or William, or whatever we’re calling him at this point) came from a Jewish family — a fact which is extremely obvious because the entire beginning of Episode 6 is just his background. He takes part in all of these beautiful rituals and ceremonies… and then later he becomes a witch.

My point is that… witches come from all walks of life and all different religious backgrounds. Not everybody was raised in a witchy household or had witchy traditions passed down to them. We might have been Jewish or Christian or Hindu or Buddhist or athiest or agnostic or… you get it.

Verdict: Pass

BONUS ROUND – Witch Repellent?

Teen getting sprayed with witch repellent

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At the end of episode 6, Billy gets sprayed with Witch Repellent. Now this might sound silly, but maybe it has some historical context.

Okay, first let me read you a recipe from Scott Cunninghams “Incense, Oils and Brews.” This particular incense is titled “For Emergencies.”

Okay, yes, that’s silly, and I’m pretty sure Cunningham included it mostly as a joke, but there’s one particular ingredient I want to focus on further: rue.

With its rather pungent aroma, rue has gained a variety of folk uses over the years and could be associated with things like banishing, exorcisms, and averting the evil eye. And historically, yes, some sources do claim that rue was used as protection against witches… I guess we could call that a “witch repellent.”

Verdict: Pass

Final Score

Alright, lets check in with the final score. Gosh golly, it’s a tie again?

That’s 7-7 for today’s segment… and 14-14 if you are keeping a running total from Part 1. It’s almost like I’m doing this on purpose. But I’m not.

The only way to conceive of breaking this tie would be to make a part 3 and analyze episodes 7, 8, and 9… so… if you’d like to see that happen, let me know in the comments!

My friends, you have completed this step of the journey. I’m so proud of you. At such a point as this, I must reward you with a disclaimer. There is an Amazon affiliate link on this page. If you use that link to make a purchase, such as buying Scott Cunningham’s book for your own personal attempts at making an incense to drive away tax collectors, then Amazon shall pay me a very, very, very small commission. That is all. You may now return to watching Agatha All Along.